Thanks to my latest readings, I’ve found myself pondering personal identity for the past few days. As people age it seems that their personal identity evolves and, eventually, the individual finds themselves. According the preachings of Queen O, most people don’t find themselves until they reach forty or fifty.
To get myself off of a non-fiction reading binge (Augusten Burroughs, Chanel and Her World, Miss O’Dell), I realized I would need a “beach read” to take a break from memoirs and biographies. On the second floor of Indigo, tucked away on a bookshelf below Jennifer Weiner’s chick-lit, I found Patricia Weitz’s novel College Girl. The descriptive nature etched with moral lessons is reminiscent to Judy Bloom’s Forever, but the teenage narrator is replaced 
with a twenty-year-old college student. The narrator is Natalie Bloom, a beautiful and shy student at the University of Connecticut who spends her free time in the library and avoids people because of her own insecurities. During Natalie’s final year in college, she decides to live on campus. Although living on campus forces Natalie out of her shell, it ultimately causes the Russian history enthusiast to spiral out of control. When Natalie meets who she believes to be her Prince Charming, she desperately vies for his approval instead of accepting that he doesn’t love her. No longer does Natalie Bloom spend Friday nights at the library, but the alternative isn’t much better. Screenwriter Diablo Cody writes, “College Girl is a sensitive yet laser-precise look at the joy (and indignity) of college life. Weitz’s prose is lovely, direct, and wincingly honest.” Just as Judy Bloom’s Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret is a must read for girls, College Girl is a must read for high school seniors preparing for dorm life.
Patricia Weitz’s character had the opportunity to find her identity while studying at the University of Connecticut, but what about those with no such luxury; the young adults thrust into the spotlight, deciding who they want to be and securing their fate at a young age? For days now I have been haunted by The New York Times feature on Megan Fox, and personal identity is the reason.
Fox is a homebody with a long term relationship, and whose night on the town consists of a dinner at Red Lobster. She enjoys TLC reality television shows and has a self-deprecating sense of humour. The problem? The original image Fox created was an outgoing provocative alter-ego, and now she’s stuck with it. “I’ve learned that being a celebrity is like being a sacrificial lamb. At some point, no matter how high the pedestal that they put you on, they’re going to tear you down,” says Fox. “And I created a character as an offering for the sacrifice. I’m not willing to give my true self up. It’s a testament to my real personality that I would go so far as to make up another personality to give to the world. The reality is, I’m hidden amongst all the insanity. Nobody can find me.”
Fox created this alter-ego by studying celebrities. She has read biographies on Marilyn Monroe, Ava Gardner and Elizabeth Taylor in hopes of achieving their success. It is clear Fox has a particular fascination with the late Marilyn Monroe, the stunning beauty who fell into the depth of despair. “She lived her whole life as a character playing other characters,” Fox said. “And that was her defense mechanism. But Marilyn stumbled and lost her way. She became overwhelmed by the character she created. Hollywood is filled with women who have tried to cope. I like to study them.”
Like Marilyn, it seems as if Megan Fox created her personal identity prematurely. “I have to pull back a little bit now,” Fox said. “I do live in a glass box. And I am on display for men to pay to look at me. And that bothers me. I don’t want to live that character.” But is it too late for Fox to leave “that character” behind? Her doppelganger Angelina Jolie was able to part ways with her own wild child persona, but can Megan Fox do the same? Jolie had Girl, Interrupted to her credit, while Fox clings to Transformers as her claim to fame. Perhaps if Fox departs from her male-ogling type cast roles she could work on emulating her idols; but playing the winged-girl on display at a freak show in 2010’s Passion Play, and a prostitute role in Jonah Hex indicate that Fox isn’t ready to part ways with “that character.”
Like College Girl’s Natalie Bloom, Megan Fox is finding her own personal identity. But unlike Natalie Bloom, Megan Fox is a real person that will suffer real consequences. Hopefully the actress follows the same fate as Patricia Weitz’s fictional character, and not that of her idols. Because even though there is only one Marilyn Monroe, the dime a dozen girls, like Natalie Bloom, are much happier.