Mother’s Day is quickly approaching and so are the TV Specials and feature stories about great moms. Since I have a fantastic mom, I thought I’d write a blog post for this special day. I  considered writing about some great fictional moms on TV shows and in movies, but that really wouldn’t help the cause. Why? Because these moms aren’t real people, they are so incredibly perfect that it is impossible for real moms to compete! Reading a post about perfect fictional moms would only make you resentful of your own mother. I mean, where’s my stack of pancakes in the morning, mom?! June Cleaver makes sure her children are nourished; I ate nachos for breakfast this morning- how healthy is that? And while Lorelai Gilmore can’t cook, she did strike a deal with her parents for her and Rory to attend Friday night dinners in exchange for a paid private school education. You need to work on your bargaining skills, mom- maybe then I’d be at Yale! So, I figured the only way for readers to truly appreciate the hard work that their mothers do is to write a blog post on really bad moms in film and television. You’ll be grateful after reading this:

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Mary, “Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire.”

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In terms of parenting, you really can’t get any worse than Mary. She physically and verbally abused her daughter Precious. There is nothing more horrifying than watching Mary’s interactions with her daughter. Viewers are on edge with her every movement.

Be grateful Mary’s not your mom.

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Joan Crawford, “Mommie Dearest.”

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Alright, so someone really did endure the psycho stage-mom known as Joan Crawford, but Faye Dunaway’s portrayal made people shiver. Crawford used her acting skills to play the part of perfect mother, but “Mommie Dearest” let audiences know she was anything but.

Be grateful Joan Crawford’s not your mom.

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Midge Pinciotti, “That ’70s Show.”

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Besides being incredibly dumb, Midge Pinciotti was completely selfish. After divorcing her husband, Midge left her teenage daughter behind to pursue a career in California. The career?  Broadway. I did mention she was dumb, right?

Be grateful Midge Pinciotti’s not your mom.

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Colleen Murphy Donaghy, “30 Rock.”

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Colleen Donaghy never approved of her son, not even when he was a child! When Jack was a kid, he played hockey and the flute. Trying to embarrass her son, Colleen made Jack perform “The Star-Spangled Banner” on his flute in front of the hockey team. And, in an attempt to make a man out of him, Colleen tried sending Jack to Vietnam when he was only 12 years old!

Be grateful Colleen Donaghy’s not your mom.

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The truth is, I don’t need to compare my mom to Mary, Joan, Midge or Colleen in order to see how special she is. I have an incredible mother who in no way is like these bad fictional moms. My mom always puts my brother and I first and cares about nothing more than our health and happiness. She will drop everything she is doing for me and- although I don’t always show it- I am very grateful. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! (Does this count as your Mother’s Day present?)

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